Think Your Way to Success

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Think Your Way to Success, ontwikkeld door Jeremy Robard, is een zelfhulp-driestappenprogramma om succesvol in het leven te worden. In GTA Vice City is onder andere op Wave 103 een reclame voor Think Your Way to Success te horen. Ook adverteert Robard (ongevraagd) zijn programma bij Pressing Issues op VCPR.

Opmerkelijk is dat de afkortingen van alle genoemde onderdelen tevens de afkortingen van diverse soorten drugs vormen:

  • Think, Hold that Thought, Complete: THC (Tetrahydrocannabinol, oftewel cannabis)
  • Learn, Start, Doing: LSD (lyserginezuurdiëthylamide)
  • Motivate, Demonstrate, then Motivate Again: MDMA (3,4-methyleendioxymethamfetamine, oftewel XTC of ecstasy)


Jeremy: "Hi, I'm Jeremy Robard. Doctor, VIP, and founder of the revolutionary program Think Your Way to Success. It's a three-step-program that's been changing lives, and my income, for the last two years. Five years ago, I was a nobody, just like you. After my Think Your Way to Success-program, I spend the entire weekend in my jacuzzi, or engaging in the exciting sports of domino toppler. Hey, if you can think it, you can do it! One of my award winning courses is sure to be perfect for you. The first course I call Think, Hold that Thought, Complete, because that's what you do. Step two is known as Learn, Start, Doing, where I explain the mysteries of starting. Or take the new accelerated course that'll help you laughing at ugly strangers. Motivate, Demonstrate, Then motivate again. Just listen to these endorsements, and remember: These people volunteered, they aren't paid much."
Man: "I've been on that Think, Hold that Thought, Complete-program, and I have to say, I'm finally gonna start my career and being a well-paid rich person."
Man #2: "Yeah, I have the Think Your Way To Success-program for a while now, it's some good stuff!"
Jeremy: "Call now, and sign up for my Think Your Way To Success-program. And if you wonna think really fast, try my Crank It Out-program. Call 1866-4340. Hey, don't just do it, think about it!"
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